2008 Champions League Final - Maniwaki Match Notes

Oh my god! Lampard just hit the cross bar!

Right. I've got the UEFA Cup Champion's League on the telly right now and what an event it is. Admittedly, I know very little about European Football, so don't be expecting an in-depth breakdown on each squad's roster or how many touches per match they averaged last season. Like most North Americans, I can rattle off a couple of teams, a few high profile players, and recant a few hazy World Cup Guinness soaked memories.

But enough of these northern, non-soccer nation excuses. Let's give this match the Maniwaki once over play by play:

1. For only the third time in history, two clubs from the same country are in the Champions League Final. Manchester United and Chelsea are duking it out in extra time right now on the Moscow pitch. 1-1 so far.

2. My Dad is a life long Chelsea supporter and our family comes from a line of the most serious Russian heritage, so there can be no doubt as to who must win this contest. I don't care if Chelsea has been called the New York Yankees of the English Premiere League, in this case I'm rooting for the pinstripes. Or blue shirts to be more accurate.

3. Which must mean that Man U are the Red Sox by default. Except that the Sox have A-Rod, or Christiano Ronaldo. Who was responsible for the first goal of the match, and who I can't stand almost as much as A-Rod. Maybe it was his constant diving and griping during the last World Cup. And every other time I've watched him play.

4. A couple of unbelievable chances so far in OT. Frank Lampard, who got the equalizer for Chelsea (I've always wanted to write that in earnest), blasted one off the crossbar early in extra time, which would've sealed the deal for Chelsea. For a moment, I thought I was watching the '06 World Cup, where he fanned on every shot he had which resulting in me spitting out venom laced Guinness every time. Hey at least this time he hit the net. Sort of.

5. Reason to like Manchester United. Wayne Rooney. Talk about the British Bulldog. If he wasn't making many, many pounds sterling from kicking the ball on the big stage, he'd probably be tearing up some club stage as a member of Gallows.

6. Reason to hate Manchester United. The aforementioned, Christiano Ronaldo. He just went on a breakaway and got tackled hard. Clean, but hard. Oh look. Now he's bitching to the ref.

7. Unbelievable A scrum! What is this? The Stanley Cup Playoffs? A late period pile up has resulted in a red card for Didier Drogba for Chelsea as well as a yellow for Carlos Tevez of Man U. Drogba's offense? Slapping Nemanja Vidic in the face. Slapping? No...this definitely isn't the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

The commentators are noting about how nasty this match has gotten, after the face slap and subsequent red card. I just read an ESPN expose this morning on the underground culture of hockey fighting in North America. Things are different on this side of the pond for sure.

8. The Drogba ejection is bad for Chelsea as apparently he'd be one of the shooters, should the game go to penalty kicks. (which is looking more and more likely) This would be like if Malkin took a stupid penalty for trying to scrap McCarty in OT of Game 7.

9. Who is this Chelsea goalie? He looks like some extreme water polo maniac. He's made a couple of stunning saves so far and as we are now going into penalty kicks, my money's riding on him.














10. While I love the shootout in the NHL regular season, couldn't fathom it deciding the Stanley Cup outcome. Holy smokes. I couldn't even imagine if I were a regular follower of football. Now all the rioting makes sense.

11. And here it is. The shoot out to decide the Champion of the Champions's League.

- Tevez nails one for Man U.

- Chelsea responds by putting one in the top corner.

- The Water Polo Road Warrior (who's name is Petr Cech so I've googled) guesses wrong and dives left when he should've gone right.

- and once again Chelsea responds with the exact same move. 2-2.

- Ronaldo's up. Miss fucko! HE MISSED!!!
JUSTICE! AND I DON'T MEAN THOSE FRENCH HOUSE GEEKS.

- AND LAMPARD DRILLS ONE TO TAKE THE LEAD 3-2.

- Hargreaves just barely gets one for Man U as it hits the cross bar and lands just over the line

- Ashley Cole has hit that left corner again. Which I am convinced has a Chelsea magnet in it.

- last chance for Man U. MISS!

- if Chelsea scores they win. Captain John Terry had the keeper fooled and picked the Chelsea corner, but the magnet must have failed as the ball missed the net.

- Anderson just kicked to give the lead to Man U. What? How did that happen I'm going to have to brush up on my penalty kick protocol. It must be single elimination after 5 shots.

- this cat, Salomon Kalou, just kept it alive for Chelsea.

- Ryan Giggs for United has just smacked one.

- Ack!!! MISS! Nicola Anelka should've gone for the Chelsea corner as he tried to switch it up and go for the other side. Which the Man U keeper saved, winning the whole damm UEFA Cup.

Ah fuck, there's Ronaldo rolling around on the pitch like a moron. Man, I feel bad for John Terry.

a. for missing his shot and;

b. for having to watch Ronaldo ham it up.

Maniwaki Man Of The Match goes to Petr Cech for coming up with some monster saves and looking positively lunatic doing so.

It would've been nice if he and his Chelsea team mates could've stuck it to Ronaldo and co. Oh well, such is international football. I guess the only thing left to do is go down to Granville St. and start a one man soccer riot in the middle of the afternoon.

See you on The Real Football Factories.